


Family Affair

by Statementends (Blueberryshortcake)



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, Only the Lonely, The Lukas Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2019-04-29
Packaged: 2020-02-09 15:04:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18640531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blueberryshortcake/pseuds/Statementends
Summary: Peter has a family thing to get to.





	Family Affair

“Sorry to wrap this up so quick, I have a family thing.” 

He’s not a mindreader like Elias, he can’t Know things, but he can read the discontented flash across Martin’s face at his words. He can taste the mixture of jealousy and resentment, and that deep fear. 

How the Ceaseless Watcher snared Martin before his people he’d never know. The boy was full to the brim of that deep gut clenching fear his family cultivated. That there would never be anyone else. That there would never be love, or friendship. That he yearned so powerfully for a mother that loved him, a father that didn’t abandon him, coworkers that liked him, a monster that loved him back. 

So desperate. All his life. So needy for someone, anyone, that he feels envy that Peter Lukas has a family thing to go to. 

It’s hilarious.

He offers no reassurances, only a small wave. “Don’t forget to lock up. You’re usually the last one out right?” 

Martin grits his teeth. Nods once. Doesn’t mention that he only stays so long because so does the Archivist. That even if he can’t be in his presence and talk to him and touch him (how badly he must want to touch him) he’d be there at least in the building. 

Poor Martin. He thinks that that act is a rebellion. He doesn’t see how it feeds into his own fears. Having Jon so very close but unreachable only adds strength to the fingers gripping around his heart.

That’s what people don’t understand about his family. Peter muses as he strolls through the Magnus institute, utterly empty despite the time of day. His fog rolls around him. Everyone tucked into their offices and libraries, tears in their eyes, hoping the feeling would pass. 

Loneliness isn’t about being by yourself. He’s met many hermits and introverts truly happy without the company at others that would make a poor snack for his Patron. No, it’s the ones that are surrounded. The ones that go to bed with a deep knowing in their gut that no one will ever truly want them. The sailors that long for a smile from a crewmate. The deep painfulness of the one you love being  _ right there _ but unable to approach. Long absence that never comes to an end. That was what they want. What the cultivate.

Martin was a very precious bud Elias offered him. It would be rude not to see him grow properly and bloom. 

He makes his way to the old family estate. A dinner party filled with expressionless faces. It was better than the Institute, better than the sea. Being surrounded by family and knowing without a shadow of a doubt that none of them cared for you. None of them would be affectionate. None of them really wanted you there at all. He noticed his sister in law shaking imperceptibly and laughed mentally. Conrad poured himself wine and paid even less attention to his wife, but it was more her forsaken feelings than the wine he was tasting. 

There are boons given by their God of course, just like any other. The Eye would watch, but would gift knowing. The Corruption would remake but give love, the slaughter cut but gave fearlessness. There was always perks. Being with his family always felt devastating. Taking him back to his time as a child locked in the closet, his time sent out to sea on an endless ocean. That it wasn’t hate. No. It was indifference. Why be attached to someone not yourself?

But that made him stronger. Self reliant. Peter sipped his wine. Conrad really chose badly with Anita. He doubted she would last much longer. She’d fade away. Maybe that was the point though. Getting married was never high on Conrad’s priorities. He wanted his nice clean empty lab. He wanted the begging on the other side of the two way mirror. Conrad has a tendency to forget his test subjects are people, which Peter think loses half the fun of it. He knows the name of every person on his crew. Doesn’t know their backstories, but knows they have their reasons for not leaving his employ. They are people.

And they don’t matter at all. 

But family does. Family matters. It’s almost cannibalistic how this dinner party turns into a feast. Feeding off each other’s emptiness and yearnings. Wanting from each other so badly, but never ever giving. 

When you see yourself as the center of all things, and the most important figure in your life it’s impossible to be altruistic. 

He imagines the act of his father turning and patting his shoulder. All of them would probably faint. 

He smiles to himself and only for himself thinking of Martin in his little office. So wistful and wanting making his own feast. Straining his ears for the Archivist’s footsteps before sighing and packing up to go home to his empty flat. Try hard to remind himself this is for good, and love, and care. That the empty feeling shouldn’t exist. That one day he would be in the light of others again. And try not to cry knowing it wasn’t true. 

One day Martin would see that Jon and the others didn’t matter. That Peter didn’t matter. That it would be himself and only himself. 

And Peter was indifferent to Martin’s self realization, but he did hope his investment would work out. It was always a hassle pulling weeds. 


End file.
